Oh god it’s been so long. What the actual fuck have I been doing this whole time? Who am I? I don’t even know anymore. Most of all, where is that fucking WOLF comic and the 2 books?! Damn it, Sid. What are you doing with your life, son?!

Actually, I just helped put together THE SUICIDE SHOW: Comedy for Charity a while ago. We raised $240 somethin bucks for the National Association of Mental Illness.

Most of the people that showed up were family and friends of the comedians (including my family). They were probably worried that we were going to kill themselves on stage cause I forgot to put the word COMEDY in the poster. Whoops. I’m mentally slow.

NAMI even declined to promote the show cause of the nooses in the 1st version of the poster. Some of the other comedians wanted to bail on NAMI to donate the money to another organization, but I said we were gonna give it to NAMI even if they didn’t deserve it.

They better save some people that’ll better humanity.

Otherwise, we could’ve just kept it to keep us afloat. Even if it were just for a few moments longer. Maybe it would’ve made the difference in the end.

Anyway: The older I get, the less information I feel the need to share to the outside world unless it’s through comedy. I’ve probably written plenty already in previous posts. Forget about trying to score internet points when you’re FUCKING DYING EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES.

If ain’t about your health or wealth, then it’ll probably take you to hell.

I’ve been thinking about that for a few months now. It seems like I’ve lost all the time I had to myself. Time I used to spend writing, drawing, or exercising. Hell, I don’t even do comedy anymore unless I’m booked for something or I’m trying to buy Filipino food from another Filipino comedian. What happened?

I feel like I’ve gotten stuck, and the world is passing me by as I wither away. I’m unsure if the people around me have my best interest in mind. Often it feels like I’m just a Jesse Pinkman to their grand scheme. It’s as if I’ve lost myself in something I once thought I wanted.

I’m not sure if I’ll get the sequels to AOTC illustrated. Not sure about that wolf comic. Not sure about my future in comedy (I’m funny, but the life right now seems unhealthy). Climbing and taking care of my physical body is my only form of health insurance, and I haven’t been able to do any of that in a while, so I’m not sure about the future of my health either. I have a job that’s very fulfilling in a sense that I’m directly combating evil, but I have leads to another company in a field I left that would make my finances easier. I don’t know if the choices I’m making are the right ones. As my birthday comes around, I find myself thinking about whether or not I’m adding more mistakes to my past ones. Was this world always full of illusions?

It’s like that.

Here are some links!

(   – U -) Comedy (-u –  )

(  * ^ *) Music (  * U *)

[   – _ -] Other stuff [-_  –  ]


Feed the Sid!
BUY MERCH!” -Squatch